Know what to expect of your post-pregnancy self ... and embrace it!

Sandy Walker watched in horror the image she saw in her bathroom mirror. No, it wasn't a ghost or even the sight of her 4-year-old cutting her hair. It was Sandy's post-natal body ... sagging, bulging, stretch marks and all.

During pregnancy you may imagine your sophisticated and well put-together self bouncing a cherubic baby on a shapely hip. But if you're expecting that metamorphosis within the first post-natal week, you're headed toward a post partum meltdown - one where you confront a sagging body, bizarre hair loss and dark circles under your eyes. As your body begins downsizing, uncomfortable symptoms like hemorrhoids, vaginal bleeding and soreness from an episiotomy or Cesarean incision might leave you wondering what you were thinking when you played Russian roulette with your birth control.

Your baby's first 3 months is really your last trimester, a healing time for your mind, body and soul. Eating well, sleeping when you need to and slowly returning to exercise will help you make the transition from mom-to-be to mom-extraordinaire long before you light the candle on Junior's first birthday cake.

Your Changing Body

Although life with your first child marks a happy time in life, so much of what you do in your baby's first few months revolves around survival: diapering, feeding, sleeping and, if you're lucky, a shower once in a while. If you're planning to mimic Heidi Klum's boomerang back to her pre-pregnancy hips or return to work immediately, think again.

"Money can buy you almost anything," says Amy Hendel, family lifestyle therapist and owner of healthgal.com. "With their every need answered, it's easy to understand how celebrities are able to pull this off."

While you may dream of rediscovering your abs before you send your child to preschool, it's dangerous to jump back on the treadmill soon after giving birth. "For the average woman taking care of children, managing a household and getting back to a job, most expectations are unrealistic," Hendel says. "If you've had an episiotomy or C-section, exercising too soon or without your doctor's permission can cause trauma to that area, separating or even tearing delicate muscle tissue."

But walking is a natural for new moms. Pop baby into her stroller or carrier and hit the sidewalks. It doesn't require specialized equipment, and you can do it whenever and wherever you want. And while walking may be a conduit to a healthier body, it also brings peace to a busy life.

Challenges

Postpartum Support International (postpartum.net) reports that 10 percent of women struggle with mood disorders linked to changing hormones (including postpartum depression), stress and exhaustion. "We have to acknowledge that this is a time of realignment, reassessment of who we are," says Leslie Jones, a member of the organization. "Knowing that helps us give ourselves the space to accept the waves, the upsets, the out of control feeling, the hormones ... it's all part of the process."

You don't believe that your worth as a mother isn't directly related to how quickly you shed baby fat? Sharing your experiences with other women will knock your reality testing back to normal. "And remember, looking perfect is not what motherhood is all about, and your body's changes represent the most miraculous thing that can happen to a woman," Hendel says.

Not enough time? Not enough energy? Not enough sex? You and your partner are trading romantic interludes for midnight parent patrol, and also trying to figure out each other's parenting styles, struggling to see yourselves as responsible parents and manage the chores that go hand-in-hand with having a baby. Though you're acquainted with sleep deprivation, the reality you're living now can ravage you, making you feel like you're existing in an alternate reality.

"Sleep deprivation robs you of a lot of the enjoyment of this once-in-a-lifetime stage in your child's growing up years," says Ann Douglas, author of Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler: The Ultimate No-Worry Approach for Each Age and Stage (John Wiley & Sons, $13.99). "There's also growing evidence to show that sleep deprivation may increase a mother's risk of postpartum depression, so sleep can't be treated as a 'frill' for new moms; it definitely falls on the 'necessity' column of the ledger."

The problem with sleep deprivation is that it leaks into every aspect of your life. If you're awake half the night, feeding and changing diapers, that ice cream in the freezer can start to look like a meal replacement. Not eating well jeopardizes your milk supply and causes crankiness, colds and other sleep problems. Plan your postpartum menu during the last few weeks of pregnancy - it takes no more time to prepare and cook two casseroles than it does one. And unless you're super-coordinated, you may want to plan post-pregnancy meals around foods that can be heated and eaten with one hand.

Healthy food is important says Shawn Talbott, Ph.D., nutritional biochemist and author of The Cortisol Connection Diet (Hunter House, $6.95). New moms need to maintain an even keel (no spikes or dips in energy), and going more than three hours between meals strains you physically and mentally. Breastfeeding women need extra calories. "This means that if you eat your breakfast at 7 a.m., and lunch is at noon, then you better have a snack at 10 a.m. (perhaps a fruit and a protein/fat - such as an apple and a handful of cashews). Aim for three hours between meals and two hours between snacks."

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