Are your children equipped to manage when you’re not around? Follow these easy steps for peace of mind.

 

With the parade sounds of blaring horns and beating drums marching off into the distance, Angie Worth, along with her newborn daughter Ella, her 2-year-old son Todd, and her elderly grandmother, began to head back to the car. The exciting morning turned into panicked chaos when Worth lost sight of her energetic toddler. “Todd took off running into the crowd and was out of my sight in just a few seconds,” Worth says. “I started yelling his name and running in the general direction of where I thought he might be.” Just as she was about to call the police, Todd reappeared. “I was so relieved and shaken at the same time,” she says.

The idea of losing a child and not knowing what happened to him is a parent’s worst nightmare. Although abduction by strangers is statistically rare, the media sensationalism of such events makes the ordeal seem all the more likely. Chances are, though, at some point in his young life, your child will need to seek help from a stranger. Who should your child approach for help and how much information should he child give?

Captain Marlene Pardue, Youth Services Division of Metro Nashville Police Department, says, “There are certain exceptions to the old adage, ‘don’t talk to strangers.’”

1 | Define “stranger.” People can be nice and may have candy, toys or pets to show a child, but strangers are people you do not know. “To a child, a stranger should generally be thought of as a person with whom there is no established, trusting relationship,” says Pardue. In general, she says it’s easiest to teach very young kids not to talk to strangers at all. You can go into more detail with older children and come to a clear conclusion as to what a dangerous stranger is. If your child feels uncomfortable with someone who won’t leave her alone, she should yell “Stranger!” and run to tell a trusted adult.

 

2 | Practice “what-if” scenarios. Use visits to large stores, shopping malls or the zoo as opportunities to educate your children about what to do if you become separated from each other. Agree on an easy-to-find meeting spot. Debby Helmer, a former nanny and school teacher, says she began pointing out cash registers at various stores to her son Alex, age 7, when he was 3 years old. “I have found that the cash registers are easier to find than customer service. And I tell my kids to only talk to the cashier,” she says. Most of all, assure your child that you will never leave a place without him.

 

3 | Are there safe strangers? Err on the side of caution when you point out strangers your children could seek help from. “A child should always feel comfortable approaching a uniformed police officer or walking up to a fire truck or fire hall for help,” says Pardue. You can also point out distinctive name tags or badges at stores. Also, instruct them to only talk to employees in an area where other people are around.

 

4 | Share limited information. Car rides provide a good time to practice going over your child’s name, address and phone number. Turning it into a sing-song jingle also helps him memorize all those numbers. If your child does seek help from a stranger, however, his first name and his parents’ first and last names should suffice.

 

5 | Avoid advertising your child’s name on the back of his coat or backpack. Strangers can use your child’s name as a way to strike up a conversation.

 

6 | Take pictures. Helmer suggests nonchalantly taking your child’s picture with your cell phone when you arrive at a busy public place, so you’ll have a current picture of your children to share right away with authorities should the unthinkable occur. And you won’t have to rack your already panicked brain about what clothes they are wearing.

 

7 | Have a couple of “in case of emergency” friends on call, just in case. The schools typically ask families to designate a few emergency contacts who have permission to pick up children from school in the event of an emergency. Have a similar carte-blanche policy in your family and make sure your kids know who the designated safe people are whom you have selected.

 

8 | Tell them who they may NOT go with. It’s difficult enough to have someone untrustworthy in your family, but if you do not want that person to pick up your children in case of an emergency, then the children need to know that they should stay put until one of their “safe people” arrives.

 

9 | Have a secret family password. If someone asks your child to go somewhere with him, your child can say that his parents only allows him to go with someone who knows the password. Explain to your child that even if the person is insistent that he has your permission, you would never give anyone permission to take him anywhere without knowing ahead of time. And, if it’s a real emergency, the person you’ve put in charge will know the family password.

 

10 | Safe-keep DNA samples. What do your child’s old toothbrushes, baby teeth and hairbrushes have in common? DNA samples can help find a missing child. Save your child’s baby teeth in a labeled film canister in the freezer or collect hair with the root still attached from your child’s hairbrush and save it in an envelope labeled with your child’s name.

“During 2010, police officers attended more than 1,500 meetings throughout Davidson County," says Pardue. “Officers are committed to supporting neighborhoods and families with crime prevention information that can help protect citizens of all ages. Establish a neighborhood watch group through your local precinct in which officers will attend the neighborhood meetings.

 

Christa Hines is a freelance writer.

 

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