With a little knowledge and a lot of love, domestic adoption can be a fantastic experience for all parties involved.

Approximately 50,000 children are adopted from within the United States each year, according to the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, and nearly everyone knows someone who has adopted a child or is an adoptee themselves.

Yet misconceptions still surround the adoption process. Thanks in part to the media and a minute number of problematic cases perpetuated by made-for-TV movies, a host of myths exists in the minds of many Americans. The fact is that for the overwhelming majority of parents, birth mothers and children, domestic adoption has been a life changing experience that they highly recommend.

Eligibility

Under Tennessee law, adoption is open to anyone older than 18 years of age. Parents can be married or single, gay or straight, of any race or religion, childless or already parents, as long as they meet some basic health and financial requirements.

Simply put, by law, adults who are physically and financially able to raise a child are eligible to adopt. However, private adoption agencies may screen applicants by setting age limits — mid-40s is a typical cut-off — or only working with heterosexual couples who have been married for a certain number of years.

While such practices may seem discriminatory, adoption professionals are actually trying to meet the needs of their clients. In the case of newborn adoptions, Kim Tant, pregnancy and adoption counselor for Caring Choice of Catholic Charities says, "We work with singles and married couples, but most birth parents are looking for couples."

Cost

In most cases, domestic adoptions cost anywhere from $0 to $35,000, with most agencies charging around $12,000 for a variety of services that can include home study fees, placement fees, legal fees, counseling expenses and medical costs, according to Lisa L. Collins, Esq., a Nashville-based adoption attorney for the last 11 years and a fellow of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys.

Many agencies charge parents on a sliding scale based upon income, and contrary to popular belief, private adoptions through an attorney are no more expensive than agency adoptions since lawyers can only charge clients for actual expenses. The news gets even better: an increasing number of employers, including 65 percent of Fortune 500 companies, provide an average of $5,000 in adoption benefits, and parents with an annual income up to $150,000 can earn as much as $10,950 in tax credits for adoption related expenses.

Timing

Like cost, timing varies widely and is based on a variety of factors. Collins says, "It depends on the route you choose. It can take a few weeks to a few years." Approximately 30,000 American infants are adopted each year, and the wait for a newborn is typically between one-and-a-half to two-and-a-half years.

For some, the wait is shorter because prospective parents may have certain qualities that a birth mother is looking for or because they participate in the private adoption of a child who's been referred to them through their church or through networking and advertisements.

Nearly half of the children adopted in the U.S. last year were more than 12 months old. Adopting a waiting child can be a much faster and less expensive process, costing as little as $1,500 (reimbursable though federal grants or the tax credit) and taking just a few months to complete.

Andrea and Scott Walters of Murfreesboro recently adopted their healthy, happy 2-year-old son Riley via the state's Department of Children's Services' Center for Adoption after a mere nine month wait. They couldn't be happier with their decision, and Andrea says, "I can't imagine our life without him. It was meant to be. Adoption is an amazing thing and brings such joy. Seeing Riley gives other people hope that the adoption process really works."

Process

There are basically two ways to adopt a child domestically: agency adoptions and independent adoptions. In a typical agency scenario, adoptive parents attend information meetings, complete applications and attend counseling sessions to prepare them for the emotional journey to come.

They then create a profile that can include pictures of themselves and their families, biographies and personal letters, which birth parents review to pick the best potential match for the child. Once birth parents have selected their preferred adoptive parents, the agency often facilitates a getting-to-know-you meeting for both parties. "It's a little scary at first," admits Amy Braxton who, with husband Craig, adopted son Brian 15 months ago. "But we got to know Lori (Brian's birth mother) over a period of time through casual meetings. Now we feel really relaxed about it. We know her and her family really well."

Rather than utilize an agency, many couples choose independent adoption via an adoption attorney. In these cases, adoptive parents can use advertisements, the Internet, networking or letters to obstetricians and social workers to put the word out that they are hoping to adopt, but they need a lawyer specializing in adoption law to navigate the legal paperwork once birth parents are found.

In other situations, an adoption lawyer can help search for birth mothers and screen potential candidates to ensure a solid match. While they're a legal and necessary part of both independent and agency adoptions, true adoption attorneys are a rare commodity. To find one in your area, contact the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys at 202-832-2222.

No matter what type of adoption you prefer — newborn or older child, through an agency or attorney — every prospective parent must complete a home study before an adoption can move forward. Despite the term "home study," most of the process takes place elsewhere. Home study is an assessment of you and your family made by a state licensed social worker.

Tant explains, "Home study is the whole process: financial review, criminal check, medical check, interviews, counseling, intake sessions and a single home visit - a brief tour of your home." Home studies typically cost between $750 and $2500, but the costs are often rolled into agency fees. Private lawyers can also recommend qualified social workers for a home study in independent adoptions.

Once a child is snug and happy in his new home, there is a six-month waiting period before the adoption is legally finalized. During that time, a social worker will drop by for two additional home visits just to make sure everyone's doing well.

Add comment